As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
