Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
