It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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