I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
