Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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