Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
