I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
