I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
