I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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