sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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