So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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