Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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