are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
