Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
