I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
