i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
