She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
