I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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