Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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