I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
