im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dick very happy bro
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
