the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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