I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
