Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
