oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
