I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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