I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
it's great music for shaving your balls
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize