I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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