omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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