Don't make out with my wife yet
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I want to be your penis for a week.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
