break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
