Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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