New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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