You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
