There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
