Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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