We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
