Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
