We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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