I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
