I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
