we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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