Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
