So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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