Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
