your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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