I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
