You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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