whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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