"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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